Monday, December 5, 2016

CULTURAL AMNESIA: BLUES POETRY AS AN HISTORIC DIORAMA FOR HUMAN STRUGGLE AND ACHIEVEMENT




CULTURAL AMNESIA

I’d fancied living years ere I was born,
in a time when sorrows soared higher than harvest-corn,
as a brown-child playing-absent under     
cotton-shade,
and ere my manly ambitions were fully-made,
i was reaping gilded-crops…. annointed… (and coronated)... by their thorns…

My freedman’s-skin coveted the dread embellishments of slaves,
and my embattled spirit courted temptings from an early grave,
its anguish bled abandonment of
privileged-ways,
erased the careless handsomenesses of hallelujah-days,
of sweeter times... nothing but the void of living them was saved...

Life rolled like cannon-blasts of concentrically-screamed despair,
each hellish-circle having taken vows to freeze me there,
mistook my visitation as a hunting-score,
hence… its antebellum realness could not intrigue me anymore,
inspiring but an urgency for leaving there…

I became the somber-gratitude of my return,
shared it’s wisdom whilst the discipline of its sacrifices burned,
singing the blood-indigo-gospels of survival times,
their rending-pulse bleeding-out all human struggle as cathartic rhyme,
an invocation of those sucrosic freedoms suffering had earned...

I’d sucked the fumes of hardship through every kiss,
filtering each lovemaking-interstice of manly bliss,
appearing to balance a cosmologic equation for truth,
where piety perpetrated its resurrection of an inviolate-youth,
where long lost in the plumbless wilds of cultural amnesia…  (and ne’er-missed),
is the story of human freedom and it’s makers’-list…


Written By BIGDADDY BLUES

Saturday, August 20, 2016

LIBERTY AND TOM, TWO SLAVES WHO WORKED AS ARCHITECTS IN COLONIAL AMERICA

They styling of this mixed chinoiserie and gothic revival door lintel shows a clear West African influence in it's technical execution.


REDISCOVERING TWO SKILLED ARCHITECT- CARPENTERS  ENSLAVED ON AN 18TH CENTURY VIRGINIA PLANTATION BY GEORGE MASON 260 YEARS AGO.

When I walked into the ornately carved rooms of Gunston Hall Plantation I saw there what stood out as the distinctly fluid style of West African craftsmanship. Anyone who has studied African art would be able to recognize these familiar hallmarks wherever they appear. That day I identified a patently West African mannerism in the execution of the  architectural embellishments. It was an indelible sign left over 260 years ago by slaves interpreting mid-eighteenth century rococo motifs. Their enslaved creativity spoke across the ages. The story it told revealed the manufacture of a grandly conceived edifice with richly carven appointments. The owner of these brilliant men was non other than George Mason who refused to sign of the Constitution. Mason personally hired an inexperienced man to supervise  the construction of Gunston Hall by his slaves who were far more experienced and skilled architects and carpenters by comparison. Gunston Hall was intended to impress the landed gentry of Colonial Fairfax County Virginia by upscaling the existing residences. It would establish Mason as a man of refinement and impeccable taste, signifying that he had socially arrived at the top of the social food chain of landed gentry such as it existed in the bucolic hinterlands of Virginia in the mid-eighteenth century. At that time no credit would ever have been lavished on a slave as having been an architect or a creative force behind the buildings he constructed from foundation to finial. Mason imported a carpenter from England to make it seem as if the edifice had been the total concept of a man his slave owning peers could respect, it would not have been considered chic for such a pretentious undertaking to have been the product of a slave. In America, especially during the colonial period when the cities we now know were dense forests slave labor was the invisible force behind the transformation of wilderness into civilization, slaves felled the forests to clear acreage for farming the large plantations and opened streets for the towns that grew up around plantation life; no one understood this better than men who owned slaves like George Mason.
The visual connection between the technical imprint of Africa and the thematic adaptation of European design was unmistakable. The struggle to realise a unique architectural footprint in the new world defining the hybrid iconography of its sociopolitical soul would evolve into the Federal Style so eloquently charactarized by the architectural stylists Jefferson and Latrobe. The development of this new architectonic vocabulary was pioneered by plantations such as Gunston Hall that rejected the opulence of European taste if not more by necessity than artifice establishing a simplified standard for the American home.
These early and middle colonial period buildings were conceived in a world that was was technically incapable of replicating the scale of contemporary European architecture because there were no resources available to devote to their painstaking execution. The new colonies were busied with the basic tasks of building the first footholds of development and in response the architecture of that period was functional. The urban and agricultural infrastructure was built upon the backs of slaves simply because it was the least desirable work and slavery rendered it virtually cost-free! European colonials supervised the clearing of forests, the draining of swamps, the building of roads and the construction of the simple structures of the times all accomplished by slave labor. In the thousands of history books written on North America not one has ever honestly told revealed this true story of how America was built.
In struggling colonial America, on the frontiers of European settlement during the eighteenth-century there was little time to lavish on capricious beauty. In the major east coast port towns we find architecture that is truly style conscious and sophisticated.  Interestingly, the farther one is removed from cosmopolitan cities such as Boston, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Charleston and New Orleans the more clearly one recognizes the softening of architectural sensibility to a more improvised, homemade brand informed by the natural design instincts of slaves. One might say the architecture begins to become more fascinating there. Slaves ultimately interpreted culturally unfamiliar classical motifs for the ordinary buildings used by colonial peoples. The deeper we delve into the prolific construction boom that took place between the early 1600’s when the first slaves began to be imported to North America in significant numbers and the mid nineteenth-century preceding the American Civil War the more magnanimous a picture we get regarding just how much of this nation was actually built by slaves, the concept alone is simply mind-boggling.
I already knew that wealthy colonial plantation owners considered skilled African slaves especially architects and construction experts to be highly valuable personnel in rural environments where such professionals were absolutely otherwise unavailable.  If you plan to visit this or any other plantation I recommend that you study period wood carvings, pottery and metal castings from mid-eighteenth century West Africa. Equipped with this practical knowledge it should be easy to connect the cultural dots… one, two, three, four….. a masterpiece!
We cannot continue to learn the story of the construction of Gunston Hall or any other structure built in America from the colonial period through the antebellum period without taking a candid look at the world that created it for they are intimately married. The people who ultimately realized the building of these edifices were typically slaves, they were the labor force of the seventeenth and eighteenth century. A contemporary example might be the importation of laborers for the construction boom of the early twenty-first century but comparatively the importation of African slaves represented a much larger scale with billions of workers being enslaved over a duration of several centuries. When slavers stole entire families from their homes in Africa for sale in the slave markets of the Americas and the Caribbean  they kept an eye out for highly skilled craftsmen, mathematicians, physicians, engineers, artisans, statesmen and other professionals already possessing skills that would fetch a high price in the marketplace. Had these captives actually been completely unskilled they would hardly have been considered worth the effort. The myth that these men and women were ignorant, unskilled savages equal in stature to farm animals was manufactured by European and American slavers as propaganda to justify the brutal rape, murder and dehumanization of billions of people over the course of over three violent centuries. The conceptual buy-in of those who participated in and accepted  slavery including its premise of racial supremacy cannot be ignored today. We must reevaluate the character of those who saw fit to participate in the slave trade and not pretend they did not fully understand its implications. The men and women who owned slaves like George Mason, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson knew it was morally wrong but chose to justify it based on economics. We cannot idolize and celebrate such men and women any longer as icons of freedom and egalitarianism any more than Germans can place an olive Branch on the brow of Hitler. The practise of racial supremacy today is based on a technically bankrupt mythology originally manufactured then to bamboozle the poorer masses who, unaffected by the negative consequences of its inequities and too destitute to participate in its vast economic profits accepted the trend they were powerless to change.  In truth European peasants who had been enslaved in feudal serfdom for over a thousand years were all to eager to trade-off their enslavement if only conceptually because it appeared to give them the hope and appearance of socioeconomic advancement. The moral and humanitarian obligation that the slave trade rejected and villainously turned it’s back on over 300 hundred years ago has never ceased to be a current social issue. 
But something that had not occurred in all human history precipitated a universal abhorrence of slavery presaging it’s historical end in spite of its economic attraction. By the summer of July 4th 1776 most of the men who signed the Declaration of Independence realized the awful mistake they had made by not clearly outlining a legally structured end to slavery. Although it is rumored that George Mason was sympathetic with the abolition of slavery but a slave owner himself, he made no effort to free his own slaves in life or even upon his death. It can be concluded that nay sense of abolition possessed by him was purely romantical since it was never evinced by a single action of his. It should therefore be assumed that he since he never left any tangible measurement of abolitionism he was in fact not the shining American figure we should hold in esteem, he was part of the problem.
Ironically, the only real good served, the only merit history can lay upon the brow of George Mason is that during his life he and his ancestors left us well documented evidence of the extraordinary skills many slaves possessed but we’re never credited for. We’re it not for their dutiful journal keeping which had every other intention but to preserve the legacy of their servants we might know nothing of the people who really made a plantation such as Gunston Hall successful.
On another front we must differentiate between whether we are allright considering a slave owner a hero, or a proper role model for the American way of life.  Following to the social movement occurring in our culture whereby the lives and actions of public and popular figures are being held under a powerful ethical and moral microscope we must now not fail to revisit history for the purpose of separating good men from bad ones. If we can arrest and convict a man for dogfighting surely we can remove undue honors from men who contributed to the brutal murder enslavement of billions of innocent men women and children in the culturally malevolent slave trade.
In the past and present it has sufficed to mention that a slave owner treated his slaves well to assuage the inevitable onslaught of ethical and moral criticism. Those times have changed!
HISTORY CANNOT ESCAPE THE SCRUTINY UNDER THE HUMAN RIGHTS STANDARDS WE UPHOLD TODAY!
Today as then we realize the vast wealth of knowledge owned by slaves that was usurped literally for free. We also know these slaves were not given any credit for their contributions, no acknowledgement has ever been made to affirm their ingenuity without which the America we know today could have come to be… Nearly every historian that has published data on American history has been unpardonably ignorant or deliberately negligent of the contribution black peoples have made especially during the colonial era. These charlatans have failed us and cheated us of the richness and complexity of the American experience.
I was at first overtaken by the absence of Black American visitors at this historic site naked Gunston Hall; I alone had come to pay homage to the ingenuity of my ancestors on that day. Though the legacy of slavery is painful revisiting sites where it played out is a healing soulful pilgrimage. 
I wanted to see if the tour guide had done his homework, if he knew that the planks which bore our weight were cut, dressed, polished and joined by black slaves so I asked him if he knew who the carpenters were. By his gesture I knew he didn’t. I surmised that he understood where I was going with my query. He responded that George Mason hired and imported Italian craftsmen a fabrication even he realised was embarrassingly unbelievable. For one thing the distinctly English brand of chinoiserie, and Gothic revival motifs were definitely not in vogue in aristocratic Italian homes of the time . A skilled and stylistically eloquent Italian craftsman of the 1750’s would have favored neoclassical motifs along the lines of Andrea Palladio. By 1750 French and Italian architecture was seriously neoclassical evoking eloquent interpretations  of Roman, Etruscan, Greek and Egyptian temples. In mid-eighteenth century colonial America the landed aristocracy of the Potomac river valley and Chesapeake region were, for the most part, out of the loop with regard to mainstream architectural trends in Europe. Thomas Jefferson was a rare exception and it is quite clear that his fashionable instinct attracted him to the neoclassical styles trending in France and Italy when he built Montpellier in 1764. It might be a stretch to include Mount Vernon built by George Washington in 1758 as an early example of neoclassical expressionism adding a second to the list. Without a doubt Gunston Hall was intended to evoke the spirit of a small English country house that would have been in vogue in the early 1700’s. It was conceived as a romantic but visually effusive English cottage evoking the feel of Gothic abbeys and parishes of the English countryside.
I set out thereafter to prove that the intricate woodwork had been hand-crafted by African slaves. So I began to thoroughly research the matter proving or disproving my theory. As you have read my research proved my instinct in full.
In 1755 George Mason indentured a young Englishman named William Buckland importing him across the sea from England to America to oversee the construction and embellishment of his Potomac river plantation known as Gunston Hall. The original contract still exists but the concept of indenturement has changed over the past 261 years. There were two very different types of indenturement in the American colonies. The classic indentureship ivolved criminals and other incarcerated Persons including the poor being sold into temporary slavery as a way to repay their debts. However based on the paperwork it is clear that  Buckland was a free man at the time he was hired so the term indenture in this instance would have had the same meaning in 1755 as the modern word, contractor. William Buckland was a contractor but it is also clear he was considered to be an indentured servant bound to a term of 4 years. At the time the carpentry and joining arts were a broadly defined trade and certainly could  have included the particular design and construction skills expected of an architect.
According to contemporary diaries and inventories of Masons son two slaves were already owned by Mason working as skilled carpenters. These black men were named Tom and Liberty. Tom and Liberty lived on a section of the plantation known as “Log Town” an encampment of log cabins and other structures in what was called the Occoquan Quarter of the plantation grounds. Log Town had a black overseer named Nace and the entire Occoquan Quarter had relative autonomy it was populated by other skilled slave craftsmen such as blacksmiths and tanners and their families. This should not serve to suggest that slavery was anywhere close to an idyllic existence at Gunston Hall the reality is that it was brutal and dehumanizing consistent with  slavery as a whole.
Masons son confidently praised the professional skills possessed by Liberty and Tom indicating that they were certainly more skilled and experienced at carpentry, and building construction than their indentured supervisor when he arrived on American soil. It can be safely assumed they were the architects and contractors for all the extant structures about the plantation. This leaves us to wonder why, given their superior skills, was a young contractor hired to supervise men with many times his skills and experience.
George Mason was a social climber. His residence at Gunston Hall was intended as a showplace to secure and affirm his status in colonial Virginia society. He avoided incurring the expense of hiring and importing an established, popular English architect, (I am certain it would have been an impossible task), and to be honest the bucolic farmers and plantation owners at the time would not have recognized the difference. It was a political keeping up of appearances at best implying that Mason had achieved a social status enabling him to “import” an English architect. To that end he was undoubtedly the “Hyacinth” of his sleepy agrarian community and a reminder that pretension is as old as time itself.
To add more realness to this diorama let’s examine the practical dynamics. Liberty and Tom were experienced contractor/builders and architects who certainly could have supervised and built Gunston Hall from the ground up by themselves. We do not know much about their education but the certainly had the ability to work from architectural plans and one must surmise they already possessed the skill to draw them. Based on written documents itvis quite clear that Liberty and Tom not only built the many domestic and agricultural structures on the plantation but that their skills were so high and demand so compelling in the region that they were given virtual autonomy in their own section of the plantation to oversee the daily maintenance of the entire plantation in addition to being contracted out to other plantations and work sites for maintenance and groundout architectural services. They were a complete design-build team.  During the eighteenth century it was quite common for plantation owners to purchase architectural plans and treatises published in Europe and have their skilled slaves transform them into buildings. Because the design coordination was often supervised by a white carpenter or architect such as Buckland the slaves who certainly became adept at copying and manufacturing architectural details were never given due credit for their work. As we begin to delve deeper into the socioeconomic and political structures of slavery these deliberate exceptions of black men from the history of our country will be uncovered.
I uncovered the actual 1775 contract of indenturement for William Buckland and this rare document told me virtually everything I needed to know. The question was who actually executed the physical carpentry work at Gunston Hall and specifically the delicate wood carving of the crown mouldings and finestral details such as the fiery chinoiserie valences. The endorsement made by Jorge Mason at the completion of the work stated that Buckland and I quote that he,
“Had the entire direction of the carpenters and joiners work”.
Translated into 21st century English this means that he acted in the capacity of a supervisor but given the social realities of the time it is doubtful that Buckland actually, physically carved any of the fine interior and exterior embellishments because he already had a team of skilled carpenters at his disposal. It is more probable that he drew or provided exemplary plans from which the slaves worked and that he provided printed generic architectural patterns allowing them to extrapolate the execution. Even during his four-year indenture Buckland could not and would not have single handedly manufactured all of the marvelously intricate woodwork we marvel at today. It was carved by slaves… so who gets the credit for actually  building Gunston Hall?
It’s is customary to attribute the building of a notable house to its owner because they were it’s financier, hence we say Gunston Hall was built by George Mason although he never contributed to its physical realization. Similarly, Buckland who went on to become a prominent architect in colonial Virginia was, like Thomas Jefferson a creative manager but one who left the messy, hard-core details of construction to the skilled expertise of slaves. This disparity in the transparency of the creative process has served to prevent skilled, enslaved artists from getting credit for their genius. This is one of the primary reasons why American history must be revised to reflect the contributions of black peoples.
Whilst reassigning due credit we must also revisit the “Hero-Srtucture” of this nation to reevaluate who should inherit the esteem of history moving forward from a platform of truth and fairness. When this has been judiciously managed black slaves will be resurrected from the abyss of ignorance and focused racism to assume their due status as builders of this nation…

FIN


Written by BIGDADDY BLUES

Monday, June 1, 2015

A SINISITER LAWYERING GAME HAS ENABLED THE LEGAL MURDER OF BLACK MEN FOR CENTURIES IN AMERICA! WILL THE GAMES EVER END?



JUSTICE CLOTHED AS INJUSTICE: A CLOSER LOOK AT THE LAWYERING GAME IN AMERICA…
A SINSITER LAWYERING GAME HAS ENABLED THE LEGAL HUNTING AND MURDER OF BLACK MEN FOR CENTURIES IN AMERICA
WILL THE GAMES EVER END?


When we witness an event playing itself out before us as clear as day only to see it transmogrified into an unbelievable nightmare by our justice system it is time to break that system down to its very foundations and begin anew!  I had not wanted to admit that our country had degraded to such a deplorable state until I replayed the ghastly events leading up to Freddie Gray’s death, a lamentable chain of thorns that began when he encountered his two murderers, clothed as law officers on an otherwise ordinary day.  From that time on the vicious details of his assassination began to tear at the flesh of America’s conscience. We all knew, glancing at the limp, broken body of their victim, Freddie Gray that they had played a vile and dangerous game with his evanescing life thinking to absolve themselves of guilt by calling a paddy wagon instead of an ambulance to disguise the brutal and fatal beating they administered to an innocent unarmed man.  An eyewitness came forward testifying that Gray’s lifeless, mangled body had bounced around the inside of the vehicle in the manner of a man who had been completely paralyzed and could no longer support his weight or summon control of his limbs.  We knew that the critical information and footage leading up to the time Gray’s paralyzed body was forcefully packed into the vehicle had been conveniently lost, where were the witnesses? Where were the witnesses?  We were all hustled onto a virtual train that completely forgot the moments before this violently murdered man had been spirited away by a spurious alibi on wheels.  But we all knew or suspected what had really happened there.  

So my question is, “If you build a lie while deliberately suppressing what could be a viable alternative theory in order to convince everyone that the alternative does not exist, does the alternative really exist”? 



Why are Baltimore City officials prosecuting a case that everyone knows does not exist?  What could the outcome possibly be for a misfired trial?  If evidence suddenly, miraculously become available verifying that Mr. Gray was in fact brutally and fatally injured prior to entering the police vehicle proving that his mortal wounds were not an could not have been a result of a “Rough Ride” what would that say about the ability of our elected officials to accurately interpret a crime scene and follow-up with an appropriate strategy of enforcement, charging and sentencing?  Do we catalog this trial with the one in which another police officer stood on the hood of a civilian car and fired dozens of rounds into the passenger’s bodies but was freed? 



Has justice in America degenerated to a sick and depraved game of lawyering?  Have we allowed legal loopholes and other such circus acrobatics to strangle the purpose of law and civilization itself?  Are Americans so paralyzed in the face of pure and determined evil that they have lost their ability to challenge what is certainly a mockery of and challenge to their very existence?  Is there such confidence that no matter what evil they do some people will always be kept safe from justice?



Police work is a very physical occupation and there are bound to be skirmishes and close calls even some unexpected and unintended injury.  We have been more than understanding for the most part regarding the nature of this business because we understand nobody wants to be incarcerated even if they should be and know they have done wrong, there is bound to be a tussle here and there.  So we kiss these mediocre skirmishes up to the skies, knowing the world is not perfect and that these officers certainly were acting in the best interest of the community.  We have to allow a certain buffer for officer/civilian interactions because of the heated emotional and physical potential they inevitably unleash.  As long as both parties can move on with minimal bruises and it is clear that the officer was merely doing his job in the interest of law and order the public is generally satisfied.  But we also have to draw a clear line when something critical occurs such as a homicide!  A homicide is an extraordinary outcome and when a policeman murders a civilian it is an occasion for us all to pause not only scrutinize what is being presented as evidence but also to use our common god given sense; in the vulgar it is called simply, “Horse Sense”!  So when we add up the chips and we discover that our count does not actually add up to what we should have we have to go back again and ask how did we get where we went and try to see if the path really makes any sense at all.  That is the job that Baltimore officials must do now in order to save face with the world. 



During what was called the “Riots” of Baltimore the world witnessed buffoons like Heraldo Rivera take the side of the police on global television while the cameras showed that thousands of simple human  beings were clearly upset with them.  He clearly failed to connect with the very phenomenon he had come to explore because he came to exploit it!  The lawyering of the judicial system has spirited away the truth in this as in countless other assassinations of black men by police.  Police brutality against black men has evolved for hundreds of years in America to an art form and those who enjoy this sadistic privilege are reluctant to stand down, they must be broken down! They must be stopped by any and every legal and peaceful means necessary!  Furthermore, our corrupt elected officials who continue to ignore the truth and empower lies and laws that ultimately result in a climate where black men can be hunted down like beasts must be uprooted! 



We live in a time where lie and law are synonymous!

FIN


PROUDLY WRITTEN BY BIGDADDY BLUES


Saturday, May 16, 2015

TO GET STRONG MEN WE MUST GROW THEM...



PRODIGY

Black boy,
let me watch you grow,
Into a man as big as Africa,

your face,
every man will know,
son of the men who built America,

black boy,
let me take your hand,
this is the journey where you become a man…



Written By: BIGDADDY BLUES




Thursday, March 5, 2015



THE PRIDE OF MANHOOD!

If you are the type of man who thinks, waking up every morning, reveling at all times during the day and reflecting before going to bed each night, “I Love Being A Man”!  Then you have what I call “PRIDE OF MANHOOD”!  Pride of Manhood is not vanity at all and anyone who misinterprets it to be so has fundamentally missed its humble handsomeness.  Pride of Manhood it is a profoundly warm and comforting sense of belonging that intimately ties a man to his family, community, other men and women; it is like being an official representative of your sex.  It is like being a member of a special and elite club that is solely responsible for the preservation of gentlemanliness.  It is a powerful commitment to uphold the most ancient and handsome traditions of manhood. 

Pride of Manhood is an emotion that I have felt since I was a boy dreaming about becoming a man.  I watched every man I encountered for clues and examples of the magnificence I would eventually inherit upon crossing that threshold.  I watched the way my father and other men dressed and walked and talked, studied the content and manner of their conversation, their deportment the way they groomed themselves, everything about being a man fascinated my imagination.  Today that passion and excitement has actually grown.  I am excited about just being a man, I love to hear the stories of men young and old because for me it represents the fulfillment of life itself.  As a man I am part of a great and glorious continuum that will mark my presence among so many great men in history, I am privileged to share with them the one truly great commonalities; that of being a man.

When I begin to define Pride of Manhood I think about my father and how close to his sterling example I have always followed.   I am so proud to be his son and to have had the ability to be blessed by his wisdom.  So I have defined for you the intrinsic, soulfulness of manhood and entreat all men to join in its resplendent celebration.  But there are other offerings to manhood more simple and more tangible,  that bring its ideology into a practical tactile realm.  Examples might be the way a man holds his cigar, the way he swings his golf club, or the way he places the feather in his fedora.  These are the practical manifestations of the spirit of manhood and create their own handsome aesthetic.  The way a man cleans his shoes or holds his braces, the chain he selects for his pocket watch or the way he unwittingly adusts his trousers… all of these define the extrinsic side of a man and should be celebrated equally as much because they bring the conceptual aspect of manhood into 3-dimensional reality, being assigned with color, texture and sound they define the visible man we encounter every day of our lives.

So today and every day I live I cultivate and celebrate Pride of Manhood, not as a phenomenon self-consciously manufactured for everyone to see but rather for my own fulfillment.  In a world where fineness of human character and integrity are diminishing I want to express my passion to shine as an example of resplendent manhood the extent that my effort I can serve as a model for others as well as a driving force for my own self-improvement in the arts of manliness!  I love being a man and that dynamic, fulfilling life-passion is what fulfills me with a true Pride of Manhood!

FIN


Written By Bigdaddy Blues 


Thursday, February 26, 2015

OUTCOMING A JOURNEY REALIZED BY LOOKING IN


OUTCOMING 


A STORY BY BIGDADDY BLUES…


When I was a young adolescent of 15 years I was suddenly thrust into a world I had never imagined, it was the world I came out to and I was completely ready to immerse myself in it. I was a typical athletic, rusty-butt teenager and doing the things most boy’s do who are able to be free to enjoy their youth. The gay world I came out to was completely alien to me… it defied nearly everything I had understood about life up to that point. I knew the first time I stepped into the life that it would never feel like family because my own family was so warm and supportive, nothing could take its place.  I perceived that many of the men around me were scared or lost, other than signifying they appeared to have no other raison d'etre; i felt they had run away from some other world to any world that would accept them. After all, how interesting could a bar full of middle-aged men drinking alcohol be to a teenager who was still riding his skateboard as a primary means of entertainment?  But the gay lifestyle, I would discover was a world that would only accept a man on its terms and those terms could be as brutal as the world from which a man had nearly escaped. In the case of many men coming out would ultimately include a rigorous process of indoctrination into what is called “The Life”. The life is a subculture with its own language, rules of operation, ethics, aesthetics and consequences… To be honest, the gay culture I experienced as a teenager was far too harsh for my liking, I enjoyed being able to talk to men who were passionate about art, architecture, music and literature and clubbing but that is where the romance ended for me… other than conversation I had nothing in common with the men with whom I associated and I flirted with the life more as a means of ephemeral entertainment (not sex) when I became bored with my straight friends. As a teenager I was a big nerd, I hooked school to hang out in the museums sketching and studying the paintings and sculpture of the old masters. I sketched wrote poetry and painted into the wee hours of the morning and while I could have been running the streets. I spent the rest of my time exploring the woods and creeks behind my house. On Fridays I hooked school to go thrift shopping all day for unique club clothes having developed a love for antique tuxedos, smoking jackets, sharkskin and zuit suits… I loved the big band era and the delta blues and used to imagine that I was a musician living in those golden days so I began to dress in the style of the 1930’s through 1960’s. I’m quite certain that my passion for history went completely over the heads of my heterosexual friends but my gay friends totally got it!



I came from a close loving family, so I was not looking for acceptance within the gay milieu. I was not looking for a father figure, I already had one.  My dad and I had our odds but he was always there for me, I admired and loved him, I would try on his colognes and cufflinks and neckties when he was at work, I wanted to be just like him, he was suave and confidently masculine, he was the epitome of a gentleman and I knew how deeply he loved me although I sometimes took his fatherly devotion for granted. I did not understand it at the time but I lived a privileged and sheltered life, I had no unhappiness, I was just a typical, happy teenager naïve of and eager to explore the world around me.



The first issue I had with coming out was that all of the other males were far too effeminate for my liking, they seemed to be obsessed with being beautiful according to female standards. I honestly could not identify with them at all but I wanted to belong to this new group of people still knowing I did not really vibe with them on many fundamental levels.  So I pulled back emotionally because I could not find anyone who I could identify with at that time. Well, there was one brotha I was deeply attracted to, he was just a regular guy like me, naturally masculine but he was not attracted to me for reasons I would understand later in life. Nobody told me about the tradition in the gay lifestyle  that a masculine man was expected to be paired up with a feminine man.  I opted out of the dating game altogether focusing on being me. Being gay at that time was really very different, it seemed that most of the men who were out were very feminine. I could see vestiges of their former masculinity still shine through but as the years passed their manliness began to fade until many of them eventually crossed over the line.  So I kept a safe distance and observed less intently knowing that the gay lifestyle as a primary focus was not for me. I longed to find naturally masculine male-identified men that I could befriend or form a relationship with to make up for the overabundance of feminine gay men that seemed to come from everywhere… fortunately graduating from high school and going to college pulled me away from that crowd and thrust me into a world that I really did identify with. In college I met lifelong male friends who shared my passion for manhood so I never looked back again. I loved the gay friends of high school and I mourned them as they perished one by one during the AIDS epidemic until they were literally all gone. Afterwards the gay men with whom I made acquaintance were all male-identified men like me and we operated within our own circles of like-minded men. I found great affection and understanding within my circle of male-identified men and we worked out the issues of being gay and masculine together. We operated as our own support group because we truly had only ourselves to turn to. Today most of my gay friends happen to be male-identified, we are mature now, professional and accomplished and we understand our journey within the mainstream of gay culture has rewarded us with the ability to honestly say that we kept our true identities. I have seen so many men transform from the regular guy next door into something else for no apparent reason other than perhaps they had no positive role models to show them how to love and cherish their manhood. I understand that these men needed to belong to something when they came out so they joined the only groups of gay men they could find, I do not begrudge them their choice or their lack of resilience. I do know that we have to offer male-identified gay men an alternative community of support that does not cost them their manhood to belong. Within the diversity of the gay community we must create institutions that actively help male-identified men retain their identity as men! So I live the exemplary life as a male-identified gay man, a role model others can identify with… I am the peaceful lover of traditional manhood and my name is BIGDADDY BLUES!




Now I am an American man and so my concept of manhood is necessarily coloured by my Americanness! I am also a scholar of the world who has studied the cultures of every continent and though I am no anthropologist I can confidently say that the ideal of manhood is not so very different as you move around the globe, no culture has a patent on manhood.  Given the cultural and ethnic diversity of humanity it would be impossible to postulate a truly universal standard for manhood so I have become comfortable with a happy fusion of them all… Manhood is not defined only by superficial folkways, traditions, technique-ways and behavioral mannerisms it is obviously founded upon a more substantial core that is also genetically and physically rooted in our practical makeup as an organism. But the unique characteristics that comprise the world of manhood are essential, edifying structures, valid contributions to the broad and complex definition of manhood. The science of human social culture has evolved unique, (though arbitrary) identifiers such as apparel, to codify the roles that men are expected to play in their communities. Who is to say that these identifiers are bad? They can only be bad if they serve to oppress as a consequence for those who elect not to subscribe to them.


 Children do not see gender the way adults do but when they wake up to adulthood they must be equipped to manage the vicissitudes of life that nature and society will present them. After having spent the past 100,000 years of human existence evolving cultural standards to distinguish men from women I seriously question why humanity should suddenly be asked to ignore the beauty and relevance of nature’s design. In our zeal to perfect humanity we should examine our unhappiness with nature and try to live in closer harmony with it. We cannot reduce the argument of sex and gender to science alone, we cannot condemn it with religious argument and we are bound by every principle of humanitarianism to respect every man’s choice to live as the gender of his bliss.





The message that Bigdaddy Blues has to share is that coming out is a private affair between a man and his conscience; nobody else need be present! Fundamentally the man you are before just you come out is the same man you should be seconds after you have come out, nothing except your ability to be honest about yourself has really changed. A man who is naturally masculine and male-identified should devote careful thought to any pathway that would cause him to forfeit the culture of manhood he has cultivated all of his life. He should seek the friendship and advice of like-minded men who will help him establish community and ideological support. If he cannot find a healthy gay community that is accepting of him as he is  then he should summon a robustness of conviction to identify and conserve his fundamental values of manhood until he is in a better place to further explore them. Furthermore, every male-identified gay man should live as close to an exemplary life as he can to model for others in the formative stages of their self-actualization as male-identified gay men.


FIN







BIGDADDY BLUES

Monday, January 19, 2015

ON WAKING UP THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF BLACK AMERICANS: A REFLECTION ON THE MEANING OF MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.



ON MARTIN LUTHER KING’S LEGACY AND THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BLACK AMERICAN MEN TO THEIR COMMUNITIES:

Kings legacy reaches beyond the millions of Black American men whose passion and suffering his own reality was closest to as a Black American man himself.  Today black men in America must honestly ask themselves if they have kept his prophetic teachings sacred living lives exemplifying their principles… have they maintained family and community integrity laying a firm foundation for generations to come...To many who have striven to uphold King’s dream it may appear as if many black men have died unto their responsibility for the perpetuation of peaceful humanitarianism becoming social, ethical and moral corpses… We must all ask ourselves if it is possible that this is true and commit ourselves to honestly answer that question. The black community is dying fast, this is not a prediction or probability it is a grim reality.  As resilient as black people have been to slavery, racism and literally one form of oppression after the next there is a real physical limitation that any people can endure and for black people in America that fateful time appears to be already behind them, what is left are shreds of an embittered struggle now lost now won now lost... The Black American community has long since deteriorated beyond all reasonable recognition as a functional and cohesive community,  what is left in it's place is a corrupt and confused shell of bravado and forgetfulness. To say black people in America must confront issues they have conveniently ignored such as black on black crime if they ever hope to become strong enough to survive let alone combat external racism is an understatement but a truth every other race and ethnic group is clearly aware of except Black Americans. If this is not self-induced blindness what is?



Black on black crime is an internal cancer preventing the black community from moving forward, in order to move forward black people must eradicate drugs, crime and ignorance from their streets and homes, they must make it clear to criminals returning from prison into their community that they will not tolerate the furtherance of violence and crime and demonstrate their communities ability to have criminals who challenge their rules returned to jail thereby allowing their families, children and business to thrive. This means that the black intelligentsia must step up to the challenge ending their ivory tower isolationism, they must seize control over the black community replacing spurious icons manufactured by a profit driven media caring nothing for the stability of family and community life or for the great legacy of black peoples in this country. If  the Black cannot do this they will certainly fail as a peoples and even Dr. Kings magnificent dream will not suffice to resurrect them! It is historically difficult for the black community to absorb and process this kind of criticism because they have an autonomic response to the abuses of racism dealt to them over many hundreds of years.  So I offer this sober message deliberately presented as a real and perilous landscape so that it will wake black men up and not sugar-coat the issue, (if there is any),  of their failure to rise to Dr. King’s challenge! Therefore,  I say if any black man fails then all black men have failed! That sufficiently raises the stakes bringing all black men into full responsibility… I say this lovingly but know that my eyes and my heart see a grim picture and I do not know if real possibility that the black community can revitalize itself because hope and actuality are two very different things!





WAKING UP…

Prophets whisper into corpses ears,
a ritual throttled by a bitten tongue,
in a mass-eulogy inaudible to the young,
a lurid vision conjured for sleep-walkers to hear,

relics like the dead on their glorious day,
are soul-less fragments of expired dreams,
men need humbling immersions in a saintly stream,
awakening minds despair has spirited-away…


BIGDADDY BLUES