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| Essex Hemphill |
Written By David Vollin
The scope of symbolism and tradition in marriage is far too
broad a topic to tackle for the purposes of this article but its history,
especially within the context America plays an essential role in the
fundamental understanding of how some Black Gay Men have begun to interpret the
rituals of marriage. True to its
pioneer spirit America has forged yet another heretofore forbidden path of
social evolution, that of Gay Marriage.
But unlike other countries that have also legalized same sex marriages,
America’s journey, especially for black gay men, poses an entirely different
and hugely more complex challenge.
Because of its past and in spite of its more enlightened present, the
difficult legacy of slavery and racism in America presents a multi-layered reticulation
of interminable obstacles to what should be an effortless expression of human
love. Many fear that an “Exodus
Syndrome” will ensue now that gay black men are free to explore yet another
social dynamic of the American experience.
The “I can do what I want! I will do what I want!” isms of a newly
liberated peoples brings others of their kind to wonder if this, the beginning
of it all, should be utilised as a brief period of thoughtful contemplation of
the subject, “How shall we do this thing!”
Since it is my role to remain neutral on the subject, presenting it as a
“What If” for the contemplation of my readers I will present the topic as if it
were an entrée, a la carte…
Long before any policy allowing gay marriage had been
seriously contemplated in America, social pioneers such as Essex Hemphill and
Marlon Riggs breathed life into their possibilities. Prior to the legalization of gay marriage
defiant black men improvised self-styled marriage ceremonies often
incorporating elements of African origin to symbolise their diasporal connexion
to the symbols and traditions of their ancestors. Although these marriages represented a
significant social statement directly challenging the social and political
establishment they lacked any legal weight not being recognized or protected by
the law. The gay
community has always been segregated in America and unwritten as it may have
been it was more acceptable for two gay white men to be openly or alleged
homosexual than black. Black men who had
still the stigma of Mandingo Breeder about them layered with the oppressive
dogma of the black church were viewed as freaks and misfits by a culture who
already had its own heavy burden of social woes to bear before and after the
Civil Rights Movement. Then as now, a
gay black man might have rights as seen under the law but in his own community
and without he is often viewed as a diabolical, suspicious, deviant and
therefore punishable figure by virtue of his being. In more progressive enclaves of America,
typically in its more liberal cities, gay black men have attained political and
social respectability but only because they have worked diligently, tirelessly
to bend local policy to their will. Essex
Hemphill wrote a prophetic poem in the early 1990’s titled “American
Wedding.” During that time my lover
Michael Smith had also written an article titled, “Are You Black Or Are You
Gay. “ I mention this because at that time we were all part of a very
interesting intellectual circle in which we exchanged, and argued the same
ideas. The world was much different
then; racism was far more aggressive especially toward young black intellectual
males. We were treated with the same
stereotypes as criminals blowing up the 6:00 News, our intelligence and
sophistication, (if I dare imply we were so), were taken as freakishly
egregious manifestations of an assumed threat to life and civility all black
men were assumed to represent. We all
understood because it was only too clear that the image and person of the black
man was under assault and I do not have to tell you why and from whence it
came, only that we battled it the only way we knew how, with our minds! So when Essex wrote “American Wedding” he was
expressing his reaction to the bruises of a culture in which he felt himself
assaulted on all fronts defying all of the stereotypes directed at black gay
men. He was masculine, he was
intelligent, he was eloquent and an internationally renowned writer and poet
and he was gay… More than anything else
Essex was making a glorious statement of protest and warning, he was looking to
seize the attention of the world in a time when it’s head was still firmly
planted under a rock. For those gay
black men who were already out this poem had a special, personal significance
that touched their sense of militancy and defiance living a cause they fed and
breathed…
Because Essex’s poem is so focused on black men does not
mean that he was racist or that he did not condone interracial marriage. What it means is merely that he was focused
primarily on the condition of marriage between two men of color. His poem goes on to explain why his concern
was so great. In his eyes the union
between two men of color was the all healing solution to the strife black men
experienced as a by-product of slavery and institutionalized racism. He saw the union of two black men as the
forging of a great solidarity between warring factions precipitating the end to
black on black crime and many other such evils.
This idealised vision nonetheless had much truth embedded in its
potential. I am certain he theorized that
when heterosexual men began to see peaceful loving unions of black men who
looked, talked, thought and acted like them this example would spread like
wildfire ushering in a new consciousness of fraternity among men of color…
I like to use the image of the cock ring as a metaphor for the chains of
slavery and racism and like one who preserves something of his oppressor as a
token to remind him of how hard bought freedom was the ring serves as a
constant reminder encompassing nothing less than the very icon of manhood
itself, the penis. Because slavery and
racism was very much meant to be a means of oppressing the expression of the
black man’s true manhood, it was literally a chain around his penis. Or is it more a metaphor for the prolonging of the union since the purpose
of the cock ring is to prolong the erection during sex? We can toy with metaphors for ever but the
true message is found in the entirety of the poem which I will copy at the end
of this discussion.
The poem is short but I have here taken only an excerpt of
the visionary poet Essex Hemphill’s titled, “American Wedding” as follows:
“In america,
I place my ring
on your cock
where it belongs”.
If you had known Essex you would be smiling with me now as
we read this part together. Like
Baldwin, Essex was a very shy quiet man in public but his fire was reserved for
his pen. I never experienced them both
in the same room nor did I ask Essex if he knew Baldwin although I assume he
surely must have. I had met one of
Baldwin’s companions, a black man named David who lived with him in his cottage
in the south of France for many years. David
was so much the antithesis of Baldwin but like Baldwin and Essex his paintings
were made of pure fire! This portion of
the poem is the very personification of that spirit of that moment and time
when the two generations were passing the torch to between them, and it burns marvelously
today lighting up a world that perhaps is not accustomed to its
brilliance! It is the light of
protest! As I have mentioned, Essex Hemphill was an
internationally renowned gay poet, activist and a personal friend. Each time I read his poem, “American Wedding”,
it challenges me and seizes my imagination with a vice-grip! I vividly recall reading it for the first
time almost twenty years ago reeling from its power to seize both my conscious
and subconscious being… I remember Mike
reading it to me while I lay resting in bed… those were such poetic times…
What is it that Essex is telling us? Because of the history
of struggle black and gay men have experienced in America we must approach the
symbolic marriage between two men in a completely different way! Historically the law in America forbade black
men from legally marrying. The key
figure in his rationale is stated clearly as a condition, “In America,”
condition stated, “I place my ring on your cock.” Does this mean that had he been in another
country it would not be necessary to place the ring on his lover’s penis? I suspect the answer is far more complex than
the obvious, it requires a great deal more thought.
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| Marlon Riggs, Film Maker |
Only history will tell if Essex’s is a valid argument, if
gay black men should refrain from imitating traditional marriage customs and
carve out their own. Creating their own
marriage ceremonies in an act of defiance would be the ultimate ritual of
protest for the inestimable injustices suffered by black men over the centuries
of our captivity in America. The stories
surrounding this theory will be told and debated many years from now when men
such as me are long dead and forgotten… However, his poem stands out as an
aesthetic, philosophical and political icon and the imagery invoked in
“American Wedding” speaks to us right now in a language too lucid to ignore memorializing
the historical difference and struggle between them and us. To know Essex Hemphill at the time that he
wrote “American Wedding” was to know a deeply introspective and intellectual
black man who was still a very young man now faced with the certain
inevitability of his own mortality after having been diagnosed with Aids. The racial climate not only in Washington,
D.C. but in America was caustic toward black men regardless of their education
or economic status. In our circle of
intellectuals we all exchanged what would now be thought of as unimaginable
stories of racial profiling both in Washington, D.C. and suburbs as well as at
the airport, and train station, it was a far more serious and frequent problem
then. Essex was frustrated with a
country that had enslaved his ancestors, and then denied him the basic dignity and
respect as a full American citizen. He
deliberately dressed down in urban hood attire to both antagonize white Americans
and to signify his own solidarity even though as an elite member of the black
intelligentsia he was far removed from the reality of the average black
American man. We used to share heated
stories about being followed at the airport or randomly stopped on the street
and asked for identification… because we were black men dressed in hyper-urban
attire which was then considered to be militant. Yes we were militants then, soldiers for the
cause of equality. There is a great
difference between militants and racists… racists we were not! More than anything we upheld racial equality
and harmony else we should have been hypocrites for what man sues for racial
equality when he cannot himself love all races of men? We may have been militant in defense of our
civil rights but that was because they were being openly threatened every day
at every turn in every place we went outside of the hallowed halls of
academia. We could easily have assumed
the raiment of our world, the academians of Howard, Hampton, and the long list
of colleges and universities we all frequented but being young and idealistic
we chose to signify for the cause of the BROTHAS! Because the brothas whether they chose or not
were at the front of an unrelenting firing line into the integrity of our ranks
as men. At the time I was a senior at
Catholic University, which was wrestling with the issues of racism and sexism. I had innocently stepped into the halls of
institutionalised, hierarchical classism, racism and sexism, practises The
Catholic Church had had over 2,000 years to refine… I watched while in the midst of everything
else, a closeted gay black priest who had gained affluence in the black
Catholic community was excommunicated and left the Catholic Church to establish
his own Afrocentric version of Catholicism which publicised its acceptance of
homosexuality. So you see, during that
time Washington was a virtual hotbed of debate and creativity concerning the prospect of gay marriage and of the way
in which gay black men would rectify their sexuality with their heritage both
as descendants of Africa and as Americans.
Between then and now the urgency of the question seems to have died and
that is what most concerns me, this is why I have chosen to resurrect this poem
from its rest…
Each time I think of Essex it takes me back to that time and
to that poem in particular. From that
day forward I have always asked myself, “Should I ever marry another man or
enter into a covenant with him, what symbol, what icon shall we employ to
symbolise the physical manifestation of our cerebral union? Is it even necessary to preserve and display
a tactile advertisement for an intangible, ideological, abstract covenant even
if it is also captured in the form of legal documents conveying the same attestation
of our now legally binding association?
According to Essex, and I am inclined to follow his august counsel, upon
the occasion that two men should jump the broom fusing themselves to the ages
together, there shall be a ring, a physical manifestation of the symbolic union
of some kind. This follows in the
tradition of Afrocentric philosophy that elements of traditional African
culture should be integrated into Black American culture to give them what I
call, “Cultural Relevance,” otherwise they are merely artifacts taken out of
context as in a museums collection. I
laugh because I know he did not mean for it to be taken literally although it
amused his intensely erotic nature to image it.
Now when a man and woman are married the tokens of marriage have
customarily been in the form of wedding bands worn about the finger, however,
with two men the possibility exists to deviate from that established
heterosexual tradition and I might add that outside of Essex’s suggestion of
choice there remain an almost infinite number of alternative places upon which
to place ones wedding ring but placing that ring upon the one organ that men
share in common, our penis, seems straightway to be the most logical and
desirable of all. Mind you that the
underlying message is not that cock rings be worn exclusively by each gay
couple on pain of death, rather that gay men recognize the uniqueness of their
union as one of two men rather than between man and woman and memorialize it
with a unique form of expression distinguishing it from a heterosexual marriage…
furthermore, as a symbolic expression that the struggle of the black man and
the black gay man is far from over. The
union of two gay black men is ideologically, significant enough symbolism edifying
the positive change of self-empowerment but it is our human nature that causes
us to seek physical manifestations of abstract ideals.
I’ll raise this question for the second time: in this poem
what is Essex really asking of America, if anything; is he merely trying to get
their attention? Conjured is the image
of a wedding ceremony between two men, the priest steps back allowing the men
to unzip each other’s trousers, pull their partners penis out and slide the
ring over the shaft pushing the scrotum through the loop or place a hinged ring
for greater ease. Both grooms then turn to face the audience, a
blinding array of flashes ensues whilst they including their penises are
photographed adorned with a ceremonial wedding rings. The image is far from absurd to me as I
visualized it without the slightest smile.
The point, gentlemen, is that now is the time for gay black men to
establish their own marital customs. I am
confident that what Essex is really trying to say to men who contemplate same
sex marriage has noting to do with placing rings on one another’s penises but
to recognize, comprehend and administer the sacred vows of marriage with a
fresh optimism, defining new rituals that best suit the union of two Black
American men. Heterosexual marriages,
with all due respect, have been undergoing a hellstorm over the past 60 years,
revealing profound structural weaknesses we daren’t imitate. On a positive note we have this unique
opportunity to reinvent the wheel.
Ultimately, I think that race is of little or no importance here, Essex was not making a protest against interracial gay marriage at all but he was asking gay men of all races to take seriously the prospect of marriage because it could mean something quite different from that with a woman. For black gay men I believe his message was twofold asking them to respect the struggle black men have fought to even enjoy the privilage of marriage...
Knowing Essex to be the highly focused idealistic, artistic,
intellectual, visionary motivated as much by the perspicacity of his mind as
his intensely sexual sensibility I am certain that he would have got great
satisfaction from the knowledge that gay men, following his suggestion, were
wearing wedding rings on their penises rather than their fingers. But being the highly tolerant, gentle and
humane man that he also was one might deduce the suggestion within his poem was
not meant as a manifesto or command as if emanating from some stylistic dogma
he envisaged for gay men… he had none, there was none… few men I have met on
this beautiful earth have been so free of mind and spirit!
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| Essex Hemphill and Marlon Riggs posing for an advertisement for the Film "Tongues Untied" |
Essex and Marlon Riggs revolutionized the face of gay black
men in America gaining international recognition only years before their lives
would be claimed by Aids… Fortunately, their work laid into place a framework
with which to comprehend and organise recent breakthroughs in policy strengthening
the GBLT community, specifically, Gay Marriage.
It is critical that nearly 20
years later their vision is not lost beneath the pall of late twentieth-century
issues that served to steal some of the wind from behind their sails. Surviving the late twentieth-century was
tough; nonetheless it was distinguished by many points of brilliance… Essex Hemphill was one of the more brilliant
stars of the late twentieth-century as was Marlon Riggs and they are sorely
missed.
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| Marlon Riggs |
They were different kinds of men
both physically and in personality but they were unquestionably men, great
black men of their times. I remember
them as true intellectuals always eager to engage themselves with others in
intensive discussion of the many important issues of the day especially those
relating to black men. As such they were
both what one could call a “Mans Man.” The questions Essex raised in his poetry
asked black gay men to look forward without prejudice but to preserve the
sacred hallmarks of their cultural heritage while doing so…
Here is the complete poem:
AMERICAN WEDDING
Written by Essex
Hemphill
In
america,
I place
my ring
on your
cock
where
it belongs.
No
horsemen
bearing
terror,
no
soldiers of doom
will
swoop in
and
sweep us apart.
They’re
too busy
looting
the land
to
watch us.
They
don’t know
we need
each other
critically.
They
expect us to call in sick,
watch
television all night,
die by
our own hands.
They
don’t know
we are
becoming powerful.
Every
time we kiss
we
confirm the new world coming.
What
the rose whispers
before
blooming
I vow
to you.
I give
you my heart,
a safe
house.
I give
you promises other than
milk,
honey, liberty.
I
assume you will always
be a
free man with a dream.
In
america,
place
your ring
on my
cock
where
it belongs.
Long
may we live
to free
this dream.
FIN
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